Getting Unstuck:
Breaking Out, Breaking Free
Stuck is a term that people use to describe the desire to make a change but feeling like you can't. You want things to be different, but you feel like there's nothing you can do about it. You want to do something about what you're feeling, but every time you try, it feels impossible. But being stuck is not the same as being defeated or hopeless.
Instead, it's a frustrating and uncomfortable place that many of us find ourselves in at one point or another. Sometimes we get stuck because we're afraid or don't have the resources we need to move forward. We may feel that the chances of failure are too high or that we don't have enough information or support.
The two most common causes of being stuck are:
- Fear of failure
- Fear of success
How to Practice Acceptance
When we accept what's happening right now, we open up the possibility for other experiences—and other feelings—to join in. If we're waiting for some future moment or definitive version of ourselves to feel satisfied or free, we're depriving ourselves of feeling happy and content today.
Here are some tips for practicing acceptance:
Pay Attention to the Present Moment
If you've been thinking about your goal or imagining what your life will be like when you achieve it, try focusing your attention on what's happening around you at this very moment. Notice the sensations you feel and what thoughts come into your mind, and see if any new insights arise from doing so.
Practice Mindfulness Meditation
Mindfulness meditation is a nonjudgmental form of meditation where you focus on the present moment without trying to change anything. It helps you pay attention to your thoughts and feelings without letting them control you. Many people find this type of meditation very helpful in learning how to accept life's challenges. You can find mindfulness meditation training online or through your local hospital or community center.
Learn to Forgive Yourself and Others
When we hold onto grudges, we feel angry, resentful, and bitter—all emotions that make us more prone to stress and illness. By forgiving others who have wronged us, we can let go of the past and move forward with our lives. Forgiving ourselves for past mistakes allows us to put our energy into the present instead of the past. Forgiveness does not mean that what someone did was okay; it simply means you choose to rise above it.
Acceptance Is Not
Acceptance does not mean:
Approving something or condoning it as a good thing. Instead, it means acknowledging its reality without judgment or resistance. Giving up on your goals or not acting to change things for the better. Instead, it means taking the time to address your feelings first so that you can perform with more awareness and intention rather than from a place of reactivity.
Passively tolerating stress it's not about "grin and bear it." Instead, it's about actively letting go of any resistance you have towards what is stressful in your life to move forward in more constructive ways.
You may have heard the expression "acceptance is surrender." This phrase is often misunderstood as accepting and giving up and no longer caring about what happens in your life. Acceptance isn't about surrendering; it's about seeing things clearly so that you can respond appropriately to difficult situations. You can effectively reduce stress by practicing acceptance.